So David has been doing his ECDL this morning, resulting in a quiet and surprisingly boring office. With nothing to do, I casually say to David "how is your ECDL going?"

Big mistake.

Somehow, within a minute he's talking at me about how Nepal is the 12th poorest country in the world, and how if that's the 12th poorest he'd hate to see what the poorest is (cue many inappropriate fits of laughter at his own jokes).

Then he moves on to talk about a guy called Tom who moved to Nepal to look after the poor kids and help a community. This would actually be very interesting if he didn't make rubbish gags every 30 seconds (for example, he referred to the child porters as 'wirey fellas with calves the size of tree trunks', then exploded with laughter).

Then he moves on to talk about an eccentric Jewish millionaire who funded the whole thing. When David uses the word 'eccentric' you know he's only telling you the story so he can amuse himself, and he does, many times, despite my expressionless face and obviously uninterested 'mmhmmm's. He went on at me for 20 minutes, during which time I found myself thinking "when did I ask about Nepal?", and on several ocassions I had completely forgotten how the conversation had started in the first place. It just doesn't feel real when things get like that. I kept expecting Beadle to pop out from behind a pillar and reveal all the hidden cameras. A surreal experience that makes me question the very fabric of space and time, what's real and what's not real.

However, like all good things, it finally came to an end. He went back to his ECDL course, which had long since given up on him and changed to the screensaver. 5 minutes later, however;

"Aaaaaaarrrrrrroooooooeeeeeeee"

A piercing bloody scream that seemed to convey a lot of pain. I honestly thought a teenaged Japenese girl had been stabbed in the foot or something. I stared at him, trying to find out what is wrong, to which he replied;

"It's ok, it's ok, I thought the apostrophe was in the wrong place in the instructions" (on his ECDL).

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

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Music to ignore David to;

Phil Collins- ...Hits

...because anything's better than having my headphones off.