David's Dits, or the Blog of David

Thursday, December 07, 2006

No posts for a few days, the reason being that David has been off since last Friday. He has wasted no time since being back however.

I was going to start this post by detailing all the pleasentries associated with Dave not being here, but these are all a distant memory after just 2 more hours of being in the company of David.

I could handle the endless crap that comes out of his mouth, mainly because I havn't been subjected to them for a while. In fact I quite missed having someone to ignore. What I did not miss, are the farts. And take cover people, because he's been saving them up for his first day back at work.

In all of my previous posts I have been totally 100% literal with what happens here. He DOES fart on my desk, and he DOES blame them on the trouser frogs. No more than 5 minutes ago he took the biscuit. He took it, ate it, and farted at me. He farted in my FACE for Christs sake. no more than 3 feet away, in my direction, he let rip rip. It was really loud, fu cking revolting, and if a yougn Naval recruit nearby hadn't have lai=ughed I probably would have cried. I've tried ignoring them to save his blushes before, but this time my face was in my hands, as I shook my head with disgust and disbelief. This particular parp was the loudest of about 5 farts that crapt out as he stood up from his chair, walked past my desk, then returned to his desk to get his coffee cup. "Want another cup of tea?" he enquired as he left me reeling from the trouser frogs. "No thanks mate" I replied, "I think I'm going to be sick". OK I didn't say the second part but I was certainly thinking it.

On the other hand, he's working late tonight and I've got a day off tomorrow... so, every cloud.


Music to ignore David/vomit to;

Sufjan Stevens- Songs for Christmas. Because I can escape to a land where people aren't boring and farts smell like freshly baked cinnamon rolls.